He's Finally Here!!

Wednesday, May 13th, Michael and I met my mom, grandma, and uncle at Red Lobster. It was the first time I've seen my mom in almost 2 years! We had a good time catching up. She bought some books for Ben and one for me. After we ate, Michael and I headed to the hospital.

They showed me to my room and gave me a beautiful gown and gorgeous bracelets to match ;). Around 7:30 they gave me some medicine to get things going. I don't remember too much about that night...I remember watching American Idol and then they gave me a sleeping pill and some Stadol and I was out!

Thursday morning around 4 they started the Pitocin. Dr. Gordon came in a few hours later and broke my water. Things were moving so slow! When I went in I was still a 1 and by maybe 11 or so I was finally a 2, so they started the epidural. I'm not too sure why they started one so early...I wasn't in too much pain and was pretty much sleeping through the contractions. I wasn't going to argue though. The epi wasn't bad at all! I think I got lucky with that though, because she got it in the first try. Not being able to feel your legs is the strangest feeling! My feet felt cold, but I wasn't really sure if they were or not...my legs also felt like concrete blocks!

Anyway, around 3 they decided that Ben wasn't doing too good with the Pitocin. When I would have a contraction his heart rate would go down, so they stopped the Pitocin to see if I was contracting on my own. I was having small contractions and he was having no problems, so they turned the Pitocin back on. By 4pm I was only at a 5, so they started talking about a c-section. That's the last thing in the world I wanted to hear, but once it's down to that, I guess you don't really have a choice.

By 4:40 I was in the OR getting prepped. They tried to just top off my epi, but I still had quite a bit of feeling, so they went ahead and put me out. Benjamin Michael was born at 4:58pm. He weighed 7 pounds and 10 ounces and was 20 inches long.

I have no idea what happened til around 7. When I came to all I could do was cry and I was so hoarse. I completely freaked out! I remember ripping the oxygen mask off and begging them not to hurt me. Very strange feeling!

When I got to my room everyone was coming in telling me how beautiful my baby was, which at the time, I really didn't want to hear...I wanted to see. A nurse came in and told me that Ben's blood sugar was low and asked if they could give him a bottle. This completely freaked me out. All I wanted the whole time I was pregnant was to breastfeed. It was a really big deal to me, and here they are giving my baby a bottle before I even get to meet him! My hormones were going crazy! Finally 2 nurses come in and tell me they are going to move me to a different bed. I was hurting so bad and the last thing I wanted to do was MOVE! Of course, as soon as the nurses start moving me, another nurse knocks on the door with my baby! I was so excited until the nurses moving me told her to leave and come back later! :/ All I could do was cry. I finally got moved and in comes a huge crowd of people and the nurse with my baby. As excited as I was to see him, I wasn't too excited about 500 other people sharing in this moment with me. Thankfully they all left pretty quick, leaving me with Michael and Ben around 8.

We left the hospital on Saturday afternoon. I don't think I've ever been so happy to be home! Ben is such a good baby! He sleeps all day and he's getting better at sleeping at night. He only cries when he's hungry or your changing his diaper. He already trying to hold up his head! He started doing it in the hospital, but now he does it all the time! All my freaking out in the hospital about bottles was for nothing! Ben is a great eater and is doing wonderful at going from breast to bottle and back to breast. I was really concerned with this, because I knew I wanted to pump for convenience.

Michael is the best dad! I couldn't ask for a better a husband! The first day at the hospital he was a little shaky, but who isn't with a newborn? By the second day he was doing great and now he's a pro! I think Ben is more comforted by him than by me. I don't know what I would've done if Michael hadn't have gotten 10 more days for paternity leave. After having a c-section I was completely out of commision! I couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself, muchless take care of a new baby. Not being able to do anything drove me crazy! He was so wonderful cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Ben and me!

It hasn't taken as long as I expected to get to feeling better. The first few days home were pretty rough! Everyday gets better and better and I find that I can do more and more. Thursday night was my first night to sleep in the bed. Michael did all the getting up and down with Ben, but last night I was able to sleep in the bed and get up with Ben! Progress! Michael leaves tomorrow morning, so I'm going to be a full time mom...I have no choice but to be better! I'm not sure what I'll do without Michael here to help me. I guess I'll figure it out as I go...isn't that what motherhood is all about anyway?